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agrimakohli98

The Gaze

I am not going to let

What they say and do get to me

Today

What I do and what I wear

Is up to me, I’m free?


I can wear what I want to

You’re not gonna stop me, are you?

It’s my fundamental right

And it’s so hot outside


I think I’ll wear a tank top and torn jeans

Wait, we’re going out?

I can’t wear the torn jeans out there

Why not? Just coz people will stare?


To hell with them and their unwanted eyes

Following me

I wear my summer dress

Go out on the streets

Oh, so naive of the reality...


Ugh, why’s he staring

with that smirk on his face?

I don’t understand

Is my dress too short?

Is my bra strap so intriguing

That it makes him trace

My body

Lips to legs

I can’t take this

I need a hiding place



His stare makes me feel dirty

It shouldn’t.

So why am I letting it

Make me feel bad about my outfit?

Great, now I feel bad about feeling bad!


I’m so clumsy

I dropped my phone on the ground

Oh no I can’t bend down to pick it

Without them seeing my panty

Fear-bound


So I hold my dress tight

Close to my thighs

Take a quick look around

To scan for anyone

Waiting

For a wardrobe malfunction

It’s a world dysfunction


I pick up the phone quicker than lightning

Phew, that was close

Thank goodness no one saw anything

But maybe, that guy in the corner

With his hungry eyes did, who knows?


My comfort isn’t mine anymore

I let their stares get to me once more

Ignore

They say

But how can I?

My comfortable clothes don’t make me feel at ease

Not because they’re too tight or too loose or too long or too short or too transparent

But because they make guys want to stare at me

Please

Let. Me. Be.


With the disappointment of yet another day

Of letting the gaze define

How I feel about what I wear and how I walk

And how I sit and how I laugh and how I talk

I go back home knowing

I’ll wake up tomorrow

Disappointment washed away

My heart filled with determination

To not let the stares get to me yet another day

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